Too Short – Born To Mack Anniversary

Too $hort released his first official studio album “Born To Mack” on July 20, 1987.  The album put Oakland on the map and gave us bass tracks like we’ve never heard before. The album was produced by Too $hort himself and T. Bohanon.

When this album first came out, I remember a friend of mine told me that there was this guy from Oakland rapping about the chicks he’s banged and that the bass was incredible.  He played me a track and I was hooked.  I then went to the record store and sure enough they had a bunch of copies available.  I picked it up and rushed home to play on my turntables.  I was not accustomed to listening to “slow” rap music, but this album grew on me every single day!  Of course I made myself a cassette copy and put it in my Walkman and it stayed there for months.

I was a junior in high school when this album dropped, so by the time I knew all the lyrics to the songs, the entire school was bumping it!  My friend and I installed some house speakers to the back of his car, just so we can “accommodate” the bass!  It was loud, it was vulgar, and it was Hip Hop!

The song that everyone remembers and knows all the words to is “Freaky Tales“.  As you can see, this guy has stories for days!  Over a super slow 808 drum beat, we get Short Dog rapping about the chicks he’d met and what he did with each. Nine and a half minutes of pure Oaktown bass!

I met this girl, her name was Joan
She loved the way I rocked the microphone
When I met Joan, I took her home
She was just like a doggy all on my bone
I met another girl, her name was Ann
All she wanted was to freak with a man
When I met Ann, I shook her hand
We ended up freakin’ by garbage can
The next young freak I met was Red
I took her to the house and she gave me head
She likes to freak was all she said
We jumped in the sheets and we broke my bed
There’s another girl, her name is Mary
Talked about sex and the girl acted scary
I heard she was freakin’ for my homeboy Jerry
Took her to the house and I popped that cherry

I think the one girl we will always remember is “Big Mamma Jamma” and we found out that no matter what the size or even “smell” the girl has, Too $hort is down for everything and anything!

The other track that I played over and over was “Dope Fiend Beat” and again Short Dog drops vulgar raps over a sinister slow bass heavy beat!  The track cannot be played in front of your parents unless you are looking for a beatdown!  Too $hort goes raw on the lyrics,

I came to the party and turned it out
You said, “Ooh, he’s got a dirty mouth!”
But, biiiitch, I kept talking shit
Mother fuck you, damn shit-head bitch
I want a blowjob and I’m not kidding
Work it in your mouth till your head starts spinning
I’m that nigga you’ll answer to
If I say, “Bitch, jump!”, that’s what you’ll do
I’m a fast talking con man blowing your mind
Breaking you and your cousin at the same time
With my dirty rap coming out my mouth
And you know damn well what I’m talking about
I’m the Too $hort, baby, way too cold
So mother fuck you, bitch, goddamn ass ho!

The only other track that does not carry a slow beat is “Playboy Short II”  but this album is bangin.  It contains only seven tracks but is almost 60 minutes in duration, meaning that every track is approximately 6 plus minutes long.  The man was able to do it all without a video or radio play!  The album also had very little samples meaning that the beats were absolutely unique and original!  I took a trip not to long ago to the Bay Area and as I was leaving my Oakland hotel, I saw a guy bumpin “Freaky Tales” hard! Almost 30 years later, this album still bangs! This album does not get old, and for that, we salute you!

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