The Fat Boys – Fat Boys

The Fat Boys' 1984 debut.

The Fat Boys released their debut album “Fat Boys” on May 29th, 1984.  The album was produced by Kurtis Blown and Larry Smith and is considered by many as a Hip Hop classic.

The Fat Boys (Disco 3) were signed after promoter Charlie Stettler was doing a Hip Hop contest at the Disco Fever.  After their manager got a bill for $400 dollars for what they ate in one sitting, the decided they would call themselves The Fat Boys.

The first track off this classic LP is the 8 minute and 30 second “Jail House Rap” where Kool Rock Ski and Prince Markie Dee explain how they got into prison.  The beat borrows a snake charmers beat and gives it a Hip Hop twist.  After a while, you forget how long the track is, especially on how dope it is.  It’s my favorite track off this classic!

Now there was just one day
That I will never forget
I got jailed for something that
I’ll always regret

It was twelve o’clock, midnight
And I wanted a snack
So I headed downstairs
Thought the fridge was packed
But when I opened the door
What did I see?
The back of the fridge staring right at me
I thought to myself
I could almost die
Then an immage appeared
A pizza pie

So I put on Adidas
Headed out the door
As I pictured myself
Eating more and more
But the store was closed
I busted into a rage
So I went to the crib
And got my twelve-gauge
Ran back to the shop
Busted won the door
And all I saw
Was pizza galore

So I stuffed my face
I couldn’t even walk
I couldn’t laugh, smile
Shake, giggle, wiggle, or talk
So I fell asleep with my face in my plate
And the next thing you know
I was headed upstate

Stick Em” was that track that once you hear it, you will never forget it.  It was their “La Di Da Di” where Kool and Mark rap over a beatbox melody by Buffy with added scratching in the background.  Instead of giving props to the DJ, Mark gives props to his beatbox!

Amazing to the eye, devastating to the ear
And if you’ve never seen him, you’ll wonder where
His beats come from: machine or man?
He’s also cutting up cause he’s in command

Can You Feel It?” was the last track on Side A, and Kurtis Blow produces a gem here!  The track sounds incredible and worthy of a classic video.  As Markie Dee is surrounded by young ladies in pageant gear, he spits,

Grab up a girl and get on the floor
And listen to Markie Dee’s rhymes galore
Because the music is fresh, so darn funky
The highs are crisp and the bass is chunky
And the final ingredient, the movement of the feet
A complete street meet, a funky fresh treat
The jam is halfway through, you sit down for awhile
A young lady approaches with a very big smile
She wants to dance, but your feet are sore
But later for that, you go and dance some more

Kool Rock Ski represents on this track with he spits,

The man that’s on the mic rappin’ to a fresh beat
Is none other than the money-makin’ Kool Rock Ski
The MC powerlord of the minion emcees
With the funky fresh rap that’ll get you out your seat
So tell me can you feel it and relive to reveal it
Cause if you do, my friends, you’ll need a pain killer
Rock to the beat, put your body to it
Find a new dance and learn how to do it
So when you come in the place and feel our rhythm
You’ll be on time with the def momentum
Stop perpetratin’, get on the floor
And listen to the two with the rhymes galore

When you flip over the album, you get the dope title track where both Mark and Kool Rock explain who they are without holding nothing back!  Mark starts with,

Now I’m Markie Dee
But you can call me the prince
And I have a slight problem
That I couldn’t solve since I’m overtired
See I over ate
At a steady pace rate

Yeah I’m overweight
But it ain’t not thing
Cause I’m always fresh
And guaranteed to pass any emcee contest
Like M&M candy we’ll melt in your hand
So be a real live lover in where I stand

Now to some it might be funny
And some sort of boring
But listen to the words as I tell my story
Now it started out when I was very small
I devoured chocolate cake, plates, candles and all
For breakfast it was teaser 5 piles of bacon
And halfway through by stomach started shakin
Toast on the side five gallons of juice
And that was just for breakfast when I start to get loose

Kool Rock then comes on and represents with

Now my name is Kool Rock
That’s party-Ski
And I am the captain rocker of the disco three
You see I get pizzaz, style and grace
Just one slight problem I’m a little overweight
But my walk is funky
My golden pop
Every time I touch a girl they always yell stop
Because of ??
I’m the king of the slop
But I know one thing my heart keeps inside
Says do the right thing and you will survive
People still put me down cause I’m the rest of the town
But I got one thing thats hard to beat ??
I got class, yeah thats right ladies

I’m a little overweight but
I’ll pass huh
I’m like glass
Yes I’m easy to break and if you get me wrong
Thats a chance to take
Yes my word is bond
And that’s no mistake

When 80’s rappers made albums, they almost always included a love song or a track dedicated to the ladies.  Fat Boys came with “Don’t You Dog Me” as the final track from this legendary album.  It was even given a big part of the film “Krush Groove” where Prince Markie Dee is in love with a girl that is not being treated correctly, so he performs this track for her at school.

Now baby listen to what I have to say
And if you don’t want to, I’ll say it anyway
Now I once had a lady, she was so fly
She was my girl and I was her guy
Now I loved that girl with all my heart
But little by little she would tear it apart
I’m talking ten dollars here, a hundred there
She wasn’t ashamed, she’d ask me anywhere
She was one of those girls who didn’t give a hoot
And tore my heart from the vine stem and root
Then I met you and you met me
And you’re the brand new Ms. Markie Dee
And all I ask is that you treat me right
Through every lasting day and night
And I’ll give you what you want
And in the right way
And there’s one more thing I have to say

Also on the album is the boom bap track “The Place To Be” and another Buffy lead track “Human Beat Box” completes this classic album.  On a personal note, I remember having Run DMC’s first album on the A-side of a 90 minute Memorex cassette with this album on the B-Side.  Since 45 minutes was more than enough and would leave space on the cassette, I would repeat my favorite songs again so I can continuous music with only the “click” to flip the cassette over!  I was 13 and in love with Hip Hop, not knowing I was going to marry this chick!  This album has a special place in my heart and will always thank them for my childhood memories.  1984-1989 were 5 years that had me glued to the radio and visiting the record store once a week!  There will never be an era like this one!

-Al E.

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